Mother(land)

Since young, I have felt this passionate love and patroitism towards my Mother--a love so insurmountable that nothing could ever waver my fortitude about growing up, aging and finally dying within her embrace.

But as I grew older, I saw people around me leaving to countries I'd only visited in dreams. And then, there're also people coming back, and they bring with them tales of exotic foreign lands--joyous and animated in its every remembered detail...

I began to think, and imagined myself travelling, living in these places. I decide that one day I shall travel to them all, maybe even live in their cities and farms for a few years. For, Mother is too hot. She is too crowded and mundane. Mother, who is made up of nothing but concrete and marble.

But eventually, there is always something endearing about Mother--her ability to tug at my heartstrings, winding me back, without resorting to forceful means.

Tonight, as I lie in bed, I will think about the things that defines me as her child.

chickenricedaddymummysataykiasuclaypotsteamboatdurians

Ramblings #3

I am spending way too much time doing unnecessary things.

This love affair with the Mr. Computer has got to end.
My husband (biologychemistrymathenglish), is starting to suspect and Before he finds out, i will have to say goodbye to Mr. C.

for I do not want to jeopadize our marriage.

I talk to myself.

I'd like to brainwash myself occasionally and have taken a liking to self-talk recently.

I tell me my dreams and goals.

For this year, the next and the next...

I tell me many things,

fanatical and ludicrous ones,

but all waiting in line to reach the point that says,

"Mission accomplished"

I tell me to "Not give up, because you might be a step away from your goal."

And now I tell you,

to close your eyes and find your me.

Ramblings #2 (know and don't know)

I know a moderate amount of things. There are many that I know, and many I don't.

I know I should learn more of how to--
remember less and forget more,
of some things.

I know that I should use more brains,
and less heart on some occassions.
Problem is, these organs cannot be controlled.

Sometimes,
I do not know the answers.
To things I assume to know.

(like how to forget more, and remember less)

'One is never better served than by one's self'' ."

-Claude Debussy.
(one of my favourite composers)

Ramblings #1

Cowardice disgusts me,
like the way genocide disgust the world.

how,
ruthless political agendas,
through signatures and words,
destruct.

like Echinda wearing smiles.
fooling everyone,
everyone but herself.

(dedicated to the coward, may they find their courage)

J. R

"You don't even know me but one day i'll get up the courage as you pass by.
you'll see."

-vegetable car, joshua radin.